50 Ways To Please Your Lover

MON., FEB 12, 2007 - 12:06 PM
50 ways to please your lover
SANDRA KALLIO

Think outside the candy box this Valentine's Day.

Godiva is grand, but there's an aphrodisiac world to experience from chocolate whipped cream to succulent strawberries to green goddess-dressed artichoke leaves. Just the scent of lavender can trigger desire, sending blood flowing in lusty directions. And the brain remains an even more powerful sexual instrument.

If you need a nudge to get your creative (and other) juices flowing, try 50 Ways To Please Your Lover.

Disclaimer: The list could have been gender-neutral, but "him/her" references are cumbersome and "they" seems most widely applicable to porn flicks and Mormon households of old, so you'll find 25 ways to please him and 25 ways to please her.
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Whatever team you're on and whatever position you play in the game of love, get your romantic face on: The big game is Wednesday.

25 ways to please him

1. Life is short; weekends are shorter; rip up the to-do list and take off on a weekend adventure.

2. In the morning, slip notes into his pocket or briefcase hinting at after-work pleasures you're planning.

3. Look for a new thrill you can try together like a hot air balloon ride, parasailing, skydiving, bungee jumping or nude volleyball (much more fun than nude dodgeball).

4. If you can't afford a trip to a sunnier warmer climate, turn up the heat with Bikram yoga, which supposedly gets the blood flowing in the right direction (in contrast to the Polar Plunge with its shrinkage effect).

5. While a cold plunge would be counterproductive, an ice cube held in your mouth as you explore his body has a much different result.

6. Even if you're not into what seems like an endless game on TV, invite him to prop his feet on your lap and massage them, saving conversation for commercial breaks.

7. To cement your position as an object of affection more dear than his car, arrange for interior/exterior detailing of the vehicle.

8. Invite him to meet you for lunch at home on a work day . . . then feed his fantasies (and send him back to work with a bag lunch).

9. Let him sleep in on the weekend, delivering the newspaper and a gourmet breakfast in bed when he's ready.

10. Get a pair of tickets to a game he really wants to attend . . . and tell him to take a buddy so you can spend the time preparing yourself and your bedroom for his return.

11. Wrap up a massage candle with an invitation to unwrap him for a massage with the melted lotion-like wax. Tip: Do not try with just any candle; A Woman's Touch, 600 Williamson St., is one place to find the version that works for this purpose.

12. If he's been feeling tied down (and not in a good way), stop at the ATM on your way to his office and steal him away for an evening at a casino in the Dells or a weekend in Vegas if you can swing it.

13. Pass on the usual chick flick and let your hearts race as one while you watch a movie with more crashes than crushes. Make buttered popcorn, the aroma of which increases the blood flow to the penis by 9 percent, almost double the effect of cheese pizza but not nearly as potent as lavender or pumpkin pie spice (40 percent each), according to research by Dr. Alan R. Hirsch of the Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation of Chicago.

14. Burn him a CD of your special songs and slip it into his car CD player the night before, or wrap it as a gift in a CD case featuring a personalized cover such as a color photocopy of a picture collage from your favorite times together.

15. Contact a radio station to play a song that's especially meaningful to you both, or submit a Dream CD request for "Jonathan & Kitty in the Morning" on Triple M, Madison radio station WMMM, 105.5 FM, through www.madison.com/mmm/.

16. You know that poster or print he brought into the relationship that means much more to him than it does to you? Get it framed and delivered to his office - or ask one of his co-workers to hang it before he gets to work.

17. Some guys need space, so give him the gift of time alone, undisturbed for whatever block of time you agree on.

18. Ask him to tell you one of his fantasies today. Act it out on Valentine's Day.

19. Set an aromatic romantic bedroom scene with essential oils or scented candles. Frankincense and ylang-ylang pack a one-two punch, with the first stimulating the senses and the second having the aphrodisiac effect. Or try patchouli alone or bergamot with ylang-ylang. (Tips on using essential oils are offered at www.ehow.com/how_7930_essential-oils.html. Warning: Avoid nut oils as the carrier when massaging anyone with these allergies.)

20. Do not talk about your book club. Bring a good book to bed - an erotic novel you'll take turns reading to each other.

21. Not sure this relationship is forever? Perhaps a henna tattoo on a personal body part is the best way for you to declare your affection for now.

22. Steal ideas from two Manhattan hotels offering Valentine's-themed packages. Dream Hotel's room comes stocked with a white garter, white feather plume, condoms, massage oil, naughty dice, champagne truffles, Kama Sutra position books and flavored whipped cream. Night Hotel features black fur handcuffs, a little black riding whip, condoms, massage oil, chocolate truffles, bow tie/black garter and fun vintage erotica. Dom Perignon and strawberries add $150 on top of the $450 base price for each.

23. While Red Bull is an energy drink, Fever is billed as the first libido stimulant beverage. Vanilla-ginger flavored, it includes eight organic herbs chosen to enhance sexual performance. While the science is, at best, sketchy, there may be a placebo effect with drinks like the Moantini: 1 ounce vodka, ounce triple sec, ounce Fever, ounce cranberry juice and a lime wedge.

24. Dressing to undress not special enough? Just out for Valentine's Day is FUNbetty, three heart-shaped stencils and hot pink color for the hair down there, available through www.bettybeauty.com.

25. Nora Ephron once wrote, "In my sex fantasy, nobody ever loves me for my mind." Still, a keen mind and a good sense of humor will outlast a great body. If he shares your quirky sense of humor, consider a Valentine from Uncooked, $3.25 each through www.uncookedland.com.

25 ways to please her

1. Listen when she mentions something that she wants - even in a passing reference - then surprise her with it. Better yet, figure out what she needs before she does. Is her purse strap frayed? Her cologne running low? Would a cashmere scarf chase her chills away?

2. Recall the words of Robert Heinlein: "Money is a powerful aphrodisiac. But flowers work almost as well." Send flowers to her at work not only on Valentine's Day but out of the blue . . . and make her co-workers green with envy.

3. Long-stemmed roses sold out or too pricey? Deliver a more accessible flower with the help of your friends. Enlist them to hand her flowers one by one throughout the day at the coffee shop, class, office, fitness club, etc., leading up to you delivering the last (and best).

4. Clean the bathroom (and pledge to keep it clean), then set a seductive scene with candles and petals on the floor and an invitation for a coupled bath, shower or more.

5. Change her computer wallpaper to a photo of the two of you or an "I-love-you" message.

6. If you usually get the you-can-stop-now tap when you massage her, present a gift certificate for her favorite masseuse instead. One recent find is a DeForest business, Natural Balance, where a 90-minute massage is only $45 (608-213-9667 or contact Mary Grimme-Epps at mgrimmeepps@yahoo.com).

7. If you, too, enjoy professional massages, find a couples package. One in Wisconsin Dells is Kalahari Resort's Couples Spa Getaway with an overnight stay in a whirlpool suite, a couples massage, couples pedicure, in-room movie and breakfast for two ($349 during February). Ask about the chocolate massage, too.

8. If she likes to dress up, make reservations at a special restaurant (for which you'll dress up, too), then leave the cell phone at home. Your other cell, too. No BlackBerry. No pager. No focus but her and your evening together.

9. If she likes to kick back at home, mix her a martini and banish her from the kitchen while you prepare dinner - maybe from "The New InterCourses: An Aphrodisiac Cookbook" (see related story). If you're not sure you can handle it start to finish on a weeknight, pick up appetizers (Trader Joe's is known for its choices) and order dessert (Whole Foods' bakery is one that never disappoints).

10. Leave loving messages at home or in her car with magnetic poetry, sticky-notes, a giant card made out of posterboard or even writing in the fog on the bathroom mirror while she showers (or write with a Q-tip coated with anti-fog spray before she gets in the shower and the message will show up as the mirror fogs).

11. Wash the dishes and tidy up the kitchen after cooking that meal for her.

12. Make a color copy of a photo of yourself or the two of you, glue it to posterboard (spray adhesive works well), write a poem or message on the back, then cut it up a la puzzle pieces and mail them to her. Tip: Don't make the pieces too small or your gesture will be more annoying than endearing.

13. Take care of her chores for a week: If she does the grocery shopping, head out yourself; if she takes care of the laundry, pick up the basket and the fabric softener.

14. Recreate your first date - or the night you proposed - down to the details such as the menu, clothes and music.

15. Buy her chocolates - but not a whole box, just one or two really, really good chocolates, and savor them together. Tip: Among the many wonderful attributes of chocolate is the fact that it melts at body temperature. Let the licking begin.

16. Buy a special chocolate bar (you do know if she prefers dark or milk chocolate, right?), remove the paper wrapper and create your own with a message indicating she may be an "instant winner" in the Valentine's Day Contest, then top the chocolate bar with concert tickets and rewrap.

17. Pack her a lunch to bring to work and include a sweet note.

18. Enough with the e-mails and text-messaging. Pick up a pen and paper and write her a real letter. Then mail it. You'll know when she gets it.

19. In a long-distance relationship? One letter is not enough. Send a packet of sealed envelopes with special messages (and maybe gift cards) for certain occasions. Label them accordingly, such as "Open when you're especially lonely," "Open after a really bad day at work," "Open when you feel like celebrating," etc.

20. Or, if she's a fan of stuffed animals, pick up a little recorder at a Build-A-Bear-Workshop (there's one in West Towne that sells these for $8), record yourself describing how much you miss her/love her and insert it in a teddy bear's paw there (or some other stuffed animal you have in some body part of your choosing) so that she'll hear your voice whenever she squeezes it.

21. Cash and gift certificates don't score romance points, but a handwritten coupon with the offer to take her shopping for a dress for a special night might.

22. If you plan to buy lingerie, be prepared with her sizes or to compare her body parts with fruit.

23. Sometimes the best gift a mom can get is not having to arrange for baby-sitting. Take on that chore.

24. About that baby-sitting arrangement - if you can find a reliable overnight sitter, take the love of your life to a nice hotel. A nonsmoking clean room is essential; the number of stars is not.

25. If she ripped up the to-do list (see No. 1 of 25 ways to please him), piece it back together and hire someone who can do the jobs sooner than you would. Think of a good way to spend all that extra free time with her.

Source: Wisconsin State Journal

Turn Off Your Bloody Cell Phone And Pay Attention To Your Sweetheart.

Experts say balance is key when it comes to romance, technology

Feb. 12, 2007

By LAURA LEIGH BROOKS

Special to The Hays Daily News

You made dinner reservations online from the office, called the florist on your cell phone from the gym and texted your sweetie a sweet nothing on the drive home (while waiting at a stoplight, of course). Technology has set you up for a perfect evening with your Valentine. But now it’s time to turn it off — turn it all off, because while our cell phones, laptops and PDAs are great at bridging the gap while we’re apart, they’re not so great at keeping us connected when we’re together.

“When we’re trying to cultivate intimacy, media sometimes gets in the way,” says Glenn Sparks, professor of communication at Purdue University. “It’s about allocation of attention. We have a high need to feel understood, and it’s hard to feel understood when the other person is splitting their attention between you and the TV or between you and the computer.”

Sparks and colleague Hannah Kirk recently completed a study in which they asked groups of friends to sit in a waiting room; some groups waited with the TV on, some waited with it off. The researchers found that talking and eye contact were reduced dramatically among the friends who waited with the TV on. These subjects also reported less satisfaction with their conversations in the waiting room than did their no-TV counterparts.

“It’s a caution sign for the way media may interfere with our conversations,” Sparks said. “There are many ways technology can shrink the distance between us, but be aware of the times it can be disruptive.”

According to an annual Valentine’s survey conducted by Cingular Wireless, 38 percent of those polled said a date answered his or her cell phone during a great dinner conversation, and 31 percent said they had done the same. Twenty-eight percent of respondents said they have used text messaging to avoid conversation.

“People often use text messages to show their negative feelings rather than talking face-to-face,” said Australian researcher and clinical psychologist Natalie Robinson. “This might be because text messages are less confrontational and more distant.”

Robinson also notes that for many, text messaging is a way of keeping tabs on their partner.

“The receiver of this message may interpret it in a number of ways, such as ‘my partner cares about me and just wants to know what I’m doing’ or alternatively, ‘my partner is suspicious and doesn’t trust me,’ ” she said.

When used judiciously, though, text messages and e-mails might let you in on slices of your partner’s day to which you might otherwise not be privy. As one woman put it, “Texting allows my husband and I to peek in on each other, even though we work across town from each other and don’t reconvene until evening. The immediacy of it seems to encourage him to tell me little things that I know he wouldn’t tell me in person at the end of a long day.”

“My wife and I e-mail each other many times during the day,” said Andy Stanton, assistant professor of communication at Fort Hays State University. “Not all of those are love notes, but it is an easy, unobtrusive way to keep connected with the one you love.”

On the other hand, Stanton advises that there is a time and place for everything.

“When I asked one of my communication classes this question (Can technology thwart intimacy?), we decided that you should definitely turn off the cell phone when on a date and should definitely not text message your friends while your date is in the bathroom!”

Stanton also said technology never will replace interpersonal communication.

“These tools are a nice addition to one-on-one time,” he says, “but they’re no substitute for the face-to-face communication all humans need.”

Sparks agrees.

“It’s a great gift to your significant other when you show you care enough about them to tune in fully to them,” he said. “It’s a way of non-verbally communicating, ‘Right now there is nothing more important to me than you,’ and that’s a great message to send to the person you love.”

Source: The Hays Daily News: "Experts say balance is key when it comes to romance, technology

Long Distance Love: - Love across the sea

Taking advantage of new technologies can help you cope with missing someone

Article: Love across the sea
12th February 2007

With Valentine's Day looming and advertisements for what to get your other half becoming unavoidable, it can also be a tough time for lovers who are apart for whatever reason.

Whatever the situation whether they are away working, visiting relatives or away as part of their course, being separated from a loved one can be hard at the best of times. Needless to say that when calendar events such as Valentine's Day comes around the distance between you both seems amplified, and that's not to mention anniversaries or birthdays.

Doubts, insecurities, and anxiety become an every day struggle but ultimately relationships are either made or, sadly, broken by the pressure distance causes.

Waterfront spoke to a student couple who are currently in this situation to ask how they dealt with their long distance relationship. Jack Smith, who is currently at Albany university as part of his American Studies degree stated that, "During the week when I'm occupied, it's not so bad but you do always think of them even if you don't realise it."

So what choice is left to those that are left behind? Well basically, get on with it! A jam packed schedule, activities and joining multiple societies definitely make the time fly by.

For those of you in this situation who find a lot of time on your hands it might be a good idea to try out things that you may never have thought of doing. Face it: we live in Swansea with beaches galore, a generous dose of societies and so many students that they could populate an island. By filling up any spare time the days will seem to fly through to the date when reunion is imminent, instead of watching the clock and the progress of the minutes of the day drag on.

Jack said "I keep busy reading, working for classes, going to the gym, going to aikido and trying to keep my mind active so I don't think about it," although he does confess that "it doesn't always work though!"

When it comes to long distance relationships, each couple approach it differently depending on their ideals, culture, personality and what type of relationship they have. It goes without saying that some relationships mean more to some than they do for others. Prior to any long term separation, couples are faced with the decision to either make a go of it or to cut their losses rather than stay behind and wait.

Plenty of old adages come to mind but some tend to hold true for those couples who decide to make a go of it. Whether there are doubts at the beginning or not there are definitely some niggling thoughts a few weeks into the separation. You could call this the critical stage of the relationship. Trust does become an issue when considering to make or break the relationship regardless of the esteem which you may have at one time held for it and your other half.

There is a natural unease over your other half meeting new people, will he/she find someone else that they end up liking more than you? Have they cheated? Do they still think of you? Is it a chore for them to check in with you once a week? Those relationships that do stay together after this period are testament to the strength of their relationship and the seriousness with which they hold it.

A comfort can be knowing that if a relationship is meant to last, then this period of separation will merely be a time of strengthening for the relationship as well as ensuring a new level of appreciation and intimacy when they return.

According to studies, the relationships that survive the separation are those who talk openly and honestly, trust each other and are aware of the anticlimax upon being reunited. Many couples have found that one aspect of the separation that helps is thinking on the moment when the two of you will be together again.

However, fantasies and embellishments can hinder the stark reality of any reunion- which is simply a meeting of two people compared to the romantic Hollywood ending which may be imagined. More often than not it seems as if your other half is a stranger. The last thing you want during your first night together is to nearly jump out of bed from the fright of being touched because you have become so used to sleeping alone that you almost feel as if the long term relationship you share is merely a fresh bud at the beginning of spring.

With loneliness a common requisite of any individual during this time of year, whether they are in a relationship or not, we can take comfort in that the person next to us on the bus, in lectures and on different continents feels it also but at least in a long distance relationship you know that someone who may be hundreds of miles away has a connection with you that is precious and rare. The seeming isolation of Valentine's Day does not need to be amplified but can be used merely as a time to ascertain that as human beings in a mutual circumstance we are united.

Emma Rogers

Source: Waterfront Online - Features - Love across the sea

Astrology: Llewellyn Journal - Maria Shaw’s 2007 Love Predictions

Maria Shaw’s 2007 Love Predictions

Aries — Your love life could easily be a roller coaster ride until September, at which time heavy Saturn exits your solar fifth house of love and romance. Problems with partners ease up then and you’ll be much more carefree and optimistic. The first nine months of 2007, however, is a time in which you’ll have to make a decision; if a relationship is truly worth keeping or if it’s time to cut ties for good. Your lucky love months are August and October.

Taurus — Money issues would be a source of irritation between you and partner all year. Don’t allow them to cause friction. It could easily happen as Taurus tends to tighten the purse strings but their partner prefers to splurge on all out shopping sprees! Jupiter is visiting your solar eighth house, which rules, among other things, sex. So all is not lost! If you’re a Taurus that hasn’t already made a commitment, the cosmos are pointing you in that direction this year. Your lucky love months are September and November.

Gemini — 2007 is the best year in over 12 years for your love life! If you’re a soul mate seeking Gemini, this year you could find the man or woman of your dreams. So, don't sell yourself short or settle for anything less than your heart desires. If married, you will fall in love with your mate all over again. If, by chance, you’re in a dead-end relationship, you can cut those ties and move on to greener pastures with little effort. Your lucky love months are October and December.

Cancer — Looking for love? Well, the best place to find it in 2007 may be at the office. Your list of co-workers is growing. There’ll be many new faces appearing in the work place. With Jupiter transiting your solar sixth house, it’s also possible you could meet someone while you’re working out at the gym too. 2007 may also take you down memory lane because your “ex” may decide it’s time for a second chance. Married? 2008 is the best year ever for you and mate. But this year, you’ll have plenty of opportunities to work out differences and meet happily in the middle. Your lucky love months are November and January.

Leo — The new year holds a lot of opportunities for romance! With lucky Jupiter transiting your solar fifth house of love affairs, it’ll be easy to draw new admirers. Consider Cupid your best friend. His arrow is aimed in your direction. Be sure to place yourself in his line of fire! If you are a happily attached Lion, you and your mate can create more magical moments. If you’re not so pleased with your squeeze, be forewarned. 2007 is a time when you could easily find yourself in the middle of a love triangle. Your lucky love months are December and February.

Virgo — An eclipse in your solar 7th house of relationships and partnerships this spring may very well bring a needed change to your love life. If single, you may attract someone very special. If attached, there’s a chance you may take a step closer to a commitment. If married, there’ll be no gray area; you will love ‘em or leave ‘em this year. So hold on tight, springtime will bring about a needed change in love. Your lucky love months are January and March.

Libra — You may find love where you least expect it this year and quite possibly in your own backyard. Check out the guy or girl next door. If you’re an Internet junkie, it’s easy to find a new friend online. If you’re spoken for, the communication between you and your mate improves. It’s also likely that you will plan a very romantic getaway in the summer. Your lucky love months are February and April.

Scorpio — A spring eclipse in your fifth house of romance is like a wild card. Anything can happen. Expect the unexpected and get ready to meet someone new and exciting. Late June through August offers you another chance for romance or more stability in a current relationship. However, if there are unresolved issues, you and your mate are still arguing about in early June, war could break out by month’s end. Agree to disagree or spilt before the fireworks explode in July. By autumn, a casual friendship could turn into something romantic and meaningful. Your motto should be “Never say never!” Your lucky love months are March and May.

Sagittarius — This could be your luckiest year ever. Jupiter conjuncts your Sun sign, bringing blessings of all kinds; including true love. Periods around May and August are very favorable to meet someone new. In fact, August through October is perfect to attract a new partner who is marriage potential. If you’d prefer to stay footloose and fancy free, as many Sagittarians do, then you’ll have more than your fair share of attractions and admirers at that time of the year too. Your lucky love months are April and June.

Capricorn — Your love vibe is strong the last six months of 2007. Late June through early August is considered “phase one” for love luck. Then it kicks in again in October through the spring of 2008. So there’ll be plenty of opportunities for romance if your cautious nature allows you to take them. If you’re already playing house, then relationships offer you more stability than ever. If you’re in the process of leaving someone, there will be delays in February and March but you’ll be able to move forward and into new relationships by the summer months. Your lucky love months are May and July.

Aquarius — Play it cool until September 9th when Saturn stops opposing your Sun sign and at which time your relationships take a turn for the better. Many of you have already let go of soured love affairs that have seen their better days. If you haven’t, you could bid adios to a former flame at some point during the first nine months of the year. For single water bearers, love will be no stranger, but there is danger of getting your heart broken. So play a waiting game before you get too serious. For those of you who want to “hang in there,” hoping things with your honey will improve … by all means do so because they could after September 9th. Your lucky love months are June and August.

Pisces — A March eclipse in your solar 7th house of relationships and partnerships could bring in a new love affair. But at the same time, it could create an ending in one too. 2007 is not a time to hang onto a worn-out relationship. If you do, you’ll miss out on some exciting new relationships that have much to offer. If you are working on issues in a current one, make sure you have resolved whatever it is you need to by September. At that point in the year, things will be much more difficult for Pisces to work though when it comes to disagreements. But a serious life-altering relationship could also present itself around the same time. Your lucky love months are July and September.

Maria Shaw is the National Enquirer astrologer, writing the weekly horoscopes for the magazine. She is also the author of eight books published in six languages and has appeared on E!, Fox News, The Tony Danza Show, The TV Guide Channel, Oxygen, MTV and VH1. This month Maria will be hosting her psychic fun fairs in Chicago, Ill; Lapeer and Saginaw, Michigan. For a list of appearances or to book your own private consultation with Maria, visit www.mariashaw.com

Source: Llewellyn Journal - Maria Shaw\'s 2007 Love Predictions: "Maria Shaw’s 2007 Love Predictions

Five conversations you need to have

Five conversations you need to have
From sex to ambitions to friends - "we need to talk"

Pillbox | Su Chu

Initiating important conversations can be incredibly awkward, but they are universal to healthy relationships. From the trivial to the news-making (and sometimes relationship-breaking), here are some conversations you should consider having with your partner.

Labeling
Definitions are bound to come up as a subject for conversation when entering a serious relationship. It can be difficult to gauge when to drop questions concerning how exclusive you want the relationship to be or when you want to go public. Talking about these issues can help resolve any burning questions you have about the state of your relationship. Otherwise, you might end up having to resort to the Internet. “I love how it’s official when you put it on Facebook,” said Carla Miller, a first-year in MCS.

Space and privacy
How much is too much? Talk about spending time apart from each other, and maybe spend those extra hours working on other relationships, such as those you share with your friends. “You need to make sure you maintain your own identity and friends,” said Galit Frydman, a junior biology major. “Maintain your own relationships!” Don’t spend time with your partner to the exclusion of all else; friends provide safety nets if your relationship sours.

What about your partners’ friends? If there are many reservations when it comes time to meet them, you might want to analyze the situation; a hesitation could indicate unresolved issues. You don’t need to be best friends with your partner’s friends, but feeling accepted can prevent future stress in the relationship. “I think if they really want you to be part of their life, they would want you and welcome you into that part,” Frydman said. “It’s also a really good way to get to know them if you get to know their friends.”

Other issues to address might include prior relationships. “Talking about past relationships — I think that’s pretty important,” said Michelle Mirabella, a first-year in H&SS. Relating your previous experiences can communicate the issues you feel strongly about and help your partner be aware of the things you might be sensitive to. It helps to reduce the possibility of miscommunication.

I want to know you
Finding out what you’re comfortable with around your partner is important, and what you’re insecure about equally so. Address readiness to communicate, religious views, and relationship goals. “Personal aspirations — what a person’s all about, who are they, and where are they going,” said Jeremy Astor, a senior business major. “I think that’s the whole dating process: your evaluation of who a person is.” Also, find the line between sharing too little and sharing too much. Information overflow can be a turn-off.

“I’m not a secrets person, but it’s nice sometimes to spare your partner of certain things,” said Miller. “For example, I don’t think it’s necessary to say, ‘My ex was better endowed than you.’ ”

Talking about talking about talking…
Communication is a central aspect of all relationships, but sometimes it’s a good idea to have a talk about talking. Making sure that your significant other is comfortable telling you things and that you are also comfortable talking to him or her about what’s important so you can strengthen your relationship. “Talking about communication — I think that’s the most important thing,” said Mirabella. “I feel like communication covers it all, because if you can’t communicate, you’re not really in a relationship.”

Sex spectrums
Have an idea of where your partner is sexually. Mismatched experience levels are often the cause of discomfort and insecurity — not to mention awkward moments. Discussing them can be a relief for the experienced and inexperienced alike. “Talk about where they are sexually and where you are — what does that mean for your relationship?” said Jessica Winn, a junior political science major. “You need to be able to have an honest conversation where you’re not worried about whether what you say is touchy.”

The number of people that your partner has been with, for example, can have an impact on your impression of him or her. For first-year business major Brett Cannaday, this number is a large player in whether he is willing to date a girl. “I figure out if she’s datable or not by finding out how many guys she’s been with,” he said.

Some consider numbers to be irrelevant, however. Frydman countered, “I don’t think it really matters how many people [your] partner has been with as long as when he’s with you, he’s with you. And as long as he was safe about it and tested.”

A more sensitive — but equally important — conversation is about the consequence of contraceptives gone wrong. “One thing I always worry about is if I got pregnant — where would he stand in this situation?” Miller said. “You shouldn’t be sexually active with someone if you’re not in agreement on that situation.”

Social conventions often make certain subjects taboo, and engaging conversations about them can be painfully awkward. Still, there’s no better way to get to know someone or to address issues that could otherwise breed discomfort. While most of these examples have been heavier, more serious issues, there are the fun ones too. “I want to talk to [girls] and find out why The Notebook is the best movie ever!” joked Astor. The only way to do it is by talking.


Source: The Tartan Online : Five conversations you need to have